my slightly off life

DISCLAIMER

This blog has resurfaced recently, and for some reason I remembered the e-mail and password. So I wanted to give anyone who stumbles upon this an update on my life.

This is the funniest, most nostalgic, and embarrassing thing I the honor of writing. It's so funny to read all the things I was obsessed about at the age of 15, maybe 16 in later entries. I am now 22-years-old and I no longer worry obsessively about boys, or my weight or how "crappy" my life is.

I wish I could talk to the girl that I was and shake her and tell her to stop being such an emo dork and just enjoy your life. It's funny, because looking back now I remember having so much fun in high school. I had four really close friends that meant a lot to me and we were always having a good time. It's kind of sad to think that I am forever immortalized on the web as some pathetic girl who even wished she had (and I quote) "diabetes so that [she] would have to stay on a diet or else [she] would die."

She seems like such a stranger. I remember having insecurities but I just can't believe how blatantly I put them out there for the whole world to see. Even if the world never saw it, all my friends passed around their blogs. I don't remember the reason, but I think it was supposed to be cool and a way to let everyone know how we really felt without bringing everyone down in social situations. Either way, I was an embarrassing addition to our group if you would look solely at these entries. I had very few enlightening things to say, and to be honest I was quite selfish in my view of the world.

Now-a-days, I'm happy to say that I'm in a relationship with a great guy, who loves me for all my quirks, my crazy antics, my opinions, and most of all for how weird I am. We started talking to each other a little over two years ago and have been dating for a little over a year. Also I've been kissed many, many times since my fears of never being kissed were expressed in these entries. I've also graduated from college with an awesome GPA and a great internship at the Make-A-Wish Foundation under my belt.

Those are just a few of the reasons I would like to meet that silly, insecure, naive, stupidly jealous and sometimes embarrassingly awkward girl and tell her everything would work itself out and it just takes time.

PS: I'm happy to say that I've kept in touch with Annie, Steph, and Lacey through all these years so even though I shared my crazy insecurities they stuck by me and I can't thank them enough for putting up with me :D .

new site www.stewieisagenus.blogdrive.com
go forth and conquer

wow...long time since i wrote....wow i start off most of my posts like that. im in digital photography i dont like it im sick and stuffy no fun at alll....i want to go home. but if i go home i might not be able to go to play practice tonight and i have to go. ugh.

hi everybody im looking very sexy today...i dont really know why...dude i went to bed as soon as i got home from the show and didnt wake up until 2:30. god i was wiped out! stupid school/slash not sleeping on saturday night and so ive been screwed up this whole week. so tonights the halloween parade. woot. oh yeah i made out with will and now im kinda regretting it. i mean yeah it was fine when it happened but now it's been a week and he hasnt even talked to me. sad. but the show last night was great even tho the reason i went was to talk to will and the guy didnt show, whatever. but im sad i didnt get to see the twirpsplay...waaaah wow that's annoying well i just thought that i would post cuz i havent in like 2 weeks but now im bored so ill write later

alrighty! i know i haven't posted in forever but that's because my computer was being pissy. but luckily Felix came over with my brother and fixed it! Thank god! So last night was fun my family have a pig roast fun fun joanie got to stay over and OMG that girl has to be the sweetest person in the world! She spent the night and that was great, we tried to watch like four movies with zach justin and Felix but that really didn't work out we were all too tired. justin and zach just left in the middle of American beauty and we watched a little more but i got bored and almost fell asleep. So then we went upstairs and bothered justin a bit and joanie me and Felix talked until 4:30 and the great thing is he seemed interested in joanie!!!!! Now usually if a guy was paying more attention to my friends i would get all sad and depressed about it like why doesn't he like me? but nope not this time! She deserves all the guys she can get because she's gorgeous and really really really really really sweet and im not kidding at all! the reason i think he does is because i was walking down the stairs because i had to get something and on the way down i heard him ask joanie if she had a b/f...see we were asking him all these questions about himself so he would stay awake it worked but OMG i like danced down the stairs when i heard him say that but when i got back up there they weren't closer or anything so damn it! but i asked her later when we were back in my room but nope he only asked that and nothing more which is total crap!! haha it was fun im just gonna jot some stuff down to remember and then im gonna write more about them in my traveling jounal in more detail. Took a walk(sounds boring but it wasn't), kyaking, hand game, staring contest, scaring. That's about it

OMG I FORGOT TO WRITE THIS!!!!! IM IN SCHOOL HOUSE ROCK!!! AND!!!!! I HAVE A NAME! My like 6th play and i finally finally have a name you have no clue how much that means to me! For mark and sandy and Tracy to actually think i was good enough to have a name! haha that sounds kinda funny!

i have a new favorite show!! Queer eye for the straight guy...but they got rid of jai! Where's my jai! i need him! but hey kyan mmm he is my gay eye candy, and Carson my gay joke box!

holy jeez i havnt posted in like forever...mmmm show tonight it was spectacular. mosh fu-ing fun annie has massive bruises mmm im in pain headache galore...woot...no not woot ow! i will post more later...i stole annies computer

look what mike sent me!!

I feel the wetness of her tongue
that slides across my skin
the viruses crawl over me and feel for some way in
cassie loves to swallow
this bleeding will not stop
I left cassie hollow
cut you with my cock
cassie likes it in her hand
cassie's dead inside
I came to fuck the open wound
so hold it open wide
cassie loves to swallow
this bleeding will not stop
I left cassie hollow
cut you with my cock

hmmm
that's a bit odd...it's a song i think he wont tell me who it's by

yo what up homies? im in the library at the moment and there is a majorly hot guy downstairs in the kiddie section whoo baby. im bored my brother said he was gonna drop me off at 2 at the library cuz he has some girl coming over but no, we left at freaking 12 i didnt even get to see the end of e.r. it makes me rather sad i have 15 more minutes on this computer go me! sniffle i miss everyone i havent seen anyone since last sunday when i was at janaes... im going to the fair today with og and more importantly chris who is strange but very drool worthy it's brads last day im thinking i should do something nice but im stupid and havent done anything. aww there's a girl dancing in circles by the main desk! so i made my shirt it says heathers in the front and lick it up in the back but the stupid k is already falling off stupid iron ons...oh yeah i wanted to say something about the fair...im going to the sausage place and im gonna talk to annie and kimmy real quick cuz idont want them to get in trouble that way i will have seen my friends! score go me!! oh damn i guess i was supposed to write a story for og well whatever i did one last week i can wait on my whole curvy is in story...cuz baby curvy IS in muhahah okay just went a little crazy there...so i saw kathy (the director) here she was tutoring and she said hi...wow that was amazing haha im such a looney bin! argh 8 days (give or take a couple hours) till school start...argh

CHOOSE DUCKIE NOT BLANE

HEATHERS

CORNNUTS

LICK IT UP

dont mind me im just seeing what i should make my shirt say

when i grow up
i want to be just like you
always screwing with people
never caring what you do

in case you cant tell
im being sarcastic halfwit
your so cruel and mean and
a shit head in everyway

okay i have no clue what that was im just extremely bored

oooooooooooooooooooh im so bored
i could shoot myself
im so bored i could play with a ball
beating my head against the wall

life is boring i just want to live
but i cant rhyme words so i suck


haha i like that that's a keeper

im not doing anything worth mentioning...i went school shopping yesterday and that's about all i have done the bordom ensues!

COMPLETELY OVERWHELM ME!!!!!!!!!!

so yes im listening to some radio thingy and it's keeps skipping ive listened to 2 whole songs in the past 15 minutes...wow stupid computer

and i want to get free talk to me i can feel you falling and i wanted to be all you need somehow here is gone

i went to the show last night and had oodles of fun but i got stepped on cuz some ppl were mosh fu-ing it it was hilarious lacey went into her own seperate corner and just started like moving her hands (mosh fu style) and just was kicking around she cracks me up!

now im tired and idont want to write anymore that's really strange i was in a total mood too write and all of a sudden i dont want to..hmm whatever!

so yes i have two songs stuck in my head at the moment...the meow mix song and this awesome song i heard on dawson's creek (shut up! its a good show) see joey was in a beauty contest to win dawson's heart or something and so she sang this song that is like how she feels about dawson but its a song from les miserables and it's called on my own and really all i can remember is "on my own...pretending he's beside me...on my own ill with with him till morning" and it's really good! i love that song and im so gonna go buy the soundtrack to that show, that's sad really haha but who gives a damn

so i cut my hair yesterday...i personally. not meaning i cut my hair when really it was my mom or some beautician i actually cut it...just the bangs but in the morning it's all facked up but whatever...i think i look like lizzie maguire...oh damn.

kevin sent me some site that has all to do with leonardo davinci...and i can not figure it out! he wasnt lying when he said that riddles were hard! im starting work in like one week..stupid fair!

now im singing to stephy oh how i love her

bored now ta

im starting to hate the fair already and i havent even started working! first i have to get working papers and then i have to get a physical and my mom cant even get a physical appt. for me until the day i start work its just crap. i may refuse to work there but i wouldnt do that to kimmy...too bad her uncle isnt just a normal carnie who doesnt believe in working papers damn it!

I LOVE BOLD REMARKS

stupid blog doesnt do what i want it to

aw crap i have to get a physical damn it!

Wow, I'm surprised you haven't passed out yet. Fear
not, sleep will be coming to claim you sooner
than you think.


How Badly Do You Need To Sleep?
brought to you by Quizilla

since i am so utterly bored im going to take a million quizes..okay maybe not a million but alot!


Spontaneous combustion sucks, doesn't it?


Sucks to be you because...
brought to you by Quizilla

well for the past week or so ive been bored outta my mind and ihavent been writing anything at all. so yes

well nate and stephy broke up. annie and pete hooked up. and i am still utterly single. yay! so that's basically what has happened all this week

there was a car chase in our little town. the police chased some woman from venago county and stoped her at our little movie theater she had a gun and was crazy..i have no idea what happened after that cuz i was dumb and didnt watch the news but oh well i was there when it happened

so im bored been bored for a bit...oh yeah i went to jills on wednesday and the night consisted of talking and eating...she types slow!! haha its only the truth hun.

so last night some creep started to talk to me and of course he has to say the sweetest thing anyones ever said to me but NOO!! he's a huge creep...damn him

bored

so bored! there's nothing to do..im just looking up some lyrics...robert just gave me a name tag cool

"maybe i should give her time" that's a great song...i enjoy it yes haha

dude school starts in a month im a sophmore! and justin's a senior that's not cool! geez im tired... i shouldnt be i slept in until like 2 cuz i couldnt get to sleep im so dumb haha

damn i want to get kissed again...geez when it hasnt happened at all and then all of a sudden guys just kiss you, you just want more! damn it! i wont get kissed again for a while! it was 3 months in between beaver and adam and only a week between adam and beaver hahah that's really odd...and sad...sigh ive only kissed two boys whatever IVE KISSED BOYS im so strange...i am no longer a loser muhahaha yay

I LOVE...HMM...GOTTA THINK ABOUT THIS...LETS JUST SAY ALOT OF THINGS! YAY

i love sherry and her awesoem b-day party i had so much fun spent alot of time with trish and erin and stephy i missed stephy so much and i love her to death. mandy couldnt come cuz she was sick stupid colds and annie couldnt come cuz she was in stupid maryland! so yes it was awesome!

alrighty next i love shows. i went to tonights show so pumped cuz hey first show since last saturday! yay! but bad things tend to happen to me at shows! i always end up kissing a guy...geez im turning into one of those show sluts! no! thats bad! so yeah i went got too hot upstairs went downstair and found beaver who i hadnt seen in a long time! so i just gave him a hug and then finally met his brother will and will wanted me to makeout with him and when i wouldnt because i didnt want to he bit me! ow! and it hurt! then beaver wanted me to make out with him so dude! brothers! but i wouldnt kiss either of them but beaver jus went a head and kissed me! and later i kissed him again bad cassie bad!

but i feel bad because i really went to spend time with sherry and erin but i feel like i ignored them i dont want to be the ignorer friend!

oh man tonight was awesome too because i was wearing my jimmy eat world shirt and jason from almost cool loves them and i totally thought he was joking but he wasnt all his bandmates kept seeing me and saying "jason come over here look at this girls shirt" and everytime he was like oh man i love jimmy eat world...i never thought to buy a shirt but now i am! haha i love them!

well signing off cuz justin wants to sign on..ooh poetic! nigheveryone

if only i had more time i take you where you wanted to go, and if i had only one wish i want a million trillion lifetimes that i could spend with you...falling in love with you again and again!

i like the ataris...they're sexy and mmm good haha campbells mmm....i need to go shower i smell...oh and if kevin is reading this blog i tried to reply but my computers being stupid and said it didnt deliver it so ill just have to send it again later!

Good Intentions: A local punk band here. They're
out of Erie, PA, but play lots of shows in
Meadville and Edinboro. Definately look into
them if you haven't already heard of them. (It
doesn't hurt that their singer is insanely hot
and sexy).


Which Kick-Ass Band Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

THEYRE BREAKING UP!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO

oh baby

Ariel, princess of the sea. You've got a beautiful
voice and, even though you have some scales,
you're beautiful, anyways. You've got a real
longing to be somewhere else. Who could blame
you? It looks way better than where you are,
right?


Which Disney Princess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

MUHAHAAHAHAHA i got kissed....dude! weird...right after i give up on love hehe still dont want it tho

so yes i am finally here

sorry i just started to type and that's what came out! well today was fun we (pete annie and i) went downtown to get annie's amp. we got it then as we're walking out the door to put the amp in pete's car we saw brian and seth at in phase. so we went in, and seth looks like jack sparrow! it was great. he was like i have to shave, and annie and i are both like no! haha he's a sweet kid. so we went places market place to be exact and then they left

so later pete left and annie and i went downtown, we went to cards and comics and i saw james(not jayme! cant call him that) it was fun. then went into country fair and saw adam harry who i havent seen since like october, but he still recognized me! it was stellar. so yes

woot! this was my past two days for guys...woot...too bad that's gonna be the only time haha sigh.......

I WANT YOU BUT IM NOT GIVING IN THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD BYE TO YOU!!!!!!!

haha annie's just playing her electric she's having fun

i just read erins blog she's been writing alot and i didnt even know about her problems or anything *sigh*

so tired

BLAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


so bored

hmm
i was at conneut lake park with annie yesterday *coughloveyouanniecough* and we saw a kat look alike...mmm kat lookalike...he looked at me tehehe and we kept riding the blue streak to hopefully sit near him and on the last ride we got to sit in front of him heheheheheheh god im so jonesing for that i even flirted with gorman...who is in china that's sad but hey he is cute but scary...(annie just screamed) and after that kat lookalike i got handcuffed to a strange boy...scary thye were kinky handcuffs too...:P but annie and i were just standing there and like eight guys just swarmed over! it was fun...and there were the miles twins..mmmm twins hahha

Im bored so im making a list of my favorite 48 things using cards from scatgories
FAVORITES
boys name ~ hal, hunter, mike, joel
us cities~ i like meadville!
things that are cold~ ice cream of course!
School supply~ cant go wrong with a pencil
pro sports team~ hmm penguins? no lakers
insects~ probably the butterfly...i think that's an insect
breakfast food~ french toast
funiture~ a nice comfy chair
tv shows~ oh boy,E.R., buffy, supermarket sweep, the o'keefes, trigger happy tv, south park and oh so many more
things found in the ocean~ sand
President~ hmm roosevelt...the second one
Product names~ 409...it's the name of a song
Famous Females~ sandra bullock, sarah michelle gellar, megan follows, maggie gyllenhal
medicine/drugs~ antibiotics!
things made of metal~ a spoon!
hobbies~ singing and writing
people in uniform~ i like fire fighters
things you plug in~ why this here computer
animals~ hand down cats
languages~ german and french
names used in the bible~ i love the name rebecca
junk food~ ice cream
things that grow~ trees
companies~ i love mickey d's
baby foods~ i dont really like baby food
famous duos and trios~ evanessence, evan and jeron,
things found in a desk~ POST ITS!
vacation spots~ i got a new favorite! nantucket
diseases~ i have no favorite disease
words associated with money~ cash, buck
items in a vending machine~ CANDY!
movies~ wow, um fight club, heathers, french kiss, all of sandra bullocks movies, tess of the d'urbervilles, moulin rouge, anne of green gables, real women have curves, simply irrestistable, harvard man heartbreakers, american beauty cider house rules, and oh so many more
games~ scatagories!
things that you wear~ hmm clothes?
beers~ beer sucks
things at a circus~ those cruely treated elephants
veggies~ all of 'em
states~ new york and of course pa
things you throw away~ hmm garbage?
occupations~ a writer
appliance~ microwave
cartoon charactors~ the cast of south park
types of drinks~ any kind really
musical groups~ rooney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good intentions, twirps, almost cool, and oh so many more
store names~ wal mart!
things at a football game~ the food!
trees~ hmm i think weeping willow
persnality traits~ you must have humor!

so there you have it 48 random favorite things